Tuesday, 24 June 2008

"PAUL! I can't feel my legs!"



Anything familiar about Raw last night? Cast your mind back to one year ago. At the WWE Draft. At the end of the show. I'll give you a hint...




Take 2 perhaps?...thanks a lot Chris Benoit. No doubt a fantastic storyline is due to emerge from Vince's little 'accident' on-stage straight after giving away $500,000. Also, conveniently, as planned, the Million Dollar giveaway is cancelled on its third week until further notice.

Anyways...at last! The much sought-after shake up that the WWE needed. The most obvious thing that we can take away from this years WWE Draft is that renewed time and effort is set to be poured upon the company's B-show, Smackdown. It's a welcome idea for most fans, I would imagine. Here are the initial draft picks and a few thoughts on each:

Matt Hardy to ECW:
Dear oh dear...are they actually trying to kill ECW? Matt Hardy, as much as I like him, is not the single-handed solution to ECW's problems. One can only assume they'll be bolstered a little by the supplemental draft? I await with baited breath. One year ago it was Benoit going to ECW...how times have changed.

Rey Mysterio to Raw:
Returning from injury with no real past grudges from before he left, except for maybe the Big Show (who kayfabe 'injured' Rey in the run-up to Wrestlemania). I'd expect him to settle quite comfortably into the higher mid-card spot that Jeff Hardy has carved out over at Raw. Perhaps a contender for the under-valued IC title before long.

CM Punk to Raw:
A little predictable, Punk is a superstar who seems to be in for the push of his life (contrary to recent reports that he has spent a little while in Vinnie Mac's bad books). The problem here is that he was practically the main draw on ECW, and with nothing really to fill the void after his departure (Matt Hardy the main eventer?), the already sinking third tier show may just hit the bottom. Oh, and Punk won't have that case for much longer.

Michael Cole to Raw:
I've grown up with this stuff, and to me Michael Cole is the voice of Smackdown. It's going to be very strange acclimatising to his voice on the red show, alongside Jerry Lawler. I think, despite the negative feeling among a lot of WWE fans for as long as I can remember, that Michael calls a good match. He lacks a certain charisma, I know, but he is solid and thorough in his knowledge. Creative seems to have gone for the pure shock value here, almost underlining that the draft can mean anything goes. I was definately taken aback.

Batista to Raw:
A main-eventer on Smackdown who has feuded with just about everyone possible, it was no surprise that Big Dave ambled his way onto Raw. Edge was never moving across, he has far too many ties on Smackdown with long-term storylines and of course the W.H. Title. I would imagine that Batista will lose at N.O.C., and go on to feud with John Cena/Randy Orton, which frees up Edge to feud with the brand new top babyface on Smackdown. I'm getting to all of that...don't worry.

Kane to Raw:
I'm not sure where they're going with this, other than that Kane is sure to drop the ECW title at Night Of Champions to The Big Show, who will most likely go on to reign at the top of ECW. There's no way they can shaft ECW so hard as to take away their top draw and their title. It's an undermined belt as it is.

Jeff Hardy to Smackdown:
My initial thought on this was that Jeff was being relegated to the lower league as punishment for all the Crystal Meth...but as the night wore on it became clear that he is part of the new school that has been sent to the blue to revive it. Something tells me that Jeff could flourish a whole lot better on Smackdown that he did on Raw, if given the correct opportunities. The most obvious first feud is with MVP, but until Matt drops the U.S. title and it can get back to Smackdown, there's nothing really for him to aim for. He'll be spending a while in a certain Mr. Levesque's shadow if he's pushed to the Heavyweight title.

J.R. to Smackdown:
This was a real shock to the system. Jim Ross is an institution on Monday Night Raw alongside King, but I had to remind myself that I said on a number of occasions about how stale I thought they had become as an announce team. J.R. seemed to be in the early stages of old-age-forgetfulness, and just seemed to have lost his edge when it came to the less-important main events. To hand him a charismatic wordsmith in Mick Foley and give him a brand new show to work on? It could just mean that we could see the last great run of his career.

Umaga to Smackdown:
This has been rumoured ever since the Raw v. Smackdown feud he had with Batista. The "Samoan Bulldog" [(c) Mike Adamle] has lacked any kind of programme or feud with anyone over the past few months, and maybe this time he can enter something on substance, instead of just being a hired heavy to do the dirty work of the higher placed heels. Just, for the sake of all things pure, keep him away from Khali.

Mr. Kennedy to Smackdown:
After spending a year on Raw that didn't really see him accomplish anything at all, Ken's back off to Smackdown in search of some kind of longevity. He'd be a good match for MVP and Jeff Hardy, and don't be surprised if he finds himself in the main event picture after throwing Edge an "I'm coming for you" rant on Raw.

Triple H to Smackdown:
We all knew the last draft pick was going to be a big one. Triple H is a big, big name for Smackdown to acquire, and may almost single handedly bolster ratings and perhaps even get it back onto a major U.S. television network. I'm going to predict (as everyone kinda did) that he'll drop the title to John Cena (for Batista, or yet another Randy Orton title feud?) at Night Of Champions and cut to the chase with Edge until Taker comes back. The thought of Undertaker, Edge and Triple H all chasing one belt makes the average fan dribble all over his ROH t-shirt. Appealing across the board in my humble opinion. The smark's favourite heel, the old-school legend and the top babyface? Bring it on.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Million Dollar Moron...


...buying viewers?

My oh my...You know it's been a bad Raw when the highlight is either a man from southern USA saying the phrase 'hooouwwley sheeeiit' live on television, or Vince McMahon getting telephone Rick Roll'd. Laugh-out-loud television.

Yes, the first night of "Mr. McMahon's Million Dollar Mania" left me feeling a little uneasy. Not only due to the (strangely funny) practical dead-air time from watching Vinnie Mac desperately struggle to use the common telephone, not only the fact that directionless skits (Haas??!! v. Mae Young/Jillian Hall v. Trevor Murdoch) were thrown in only to advance the sweepstakes, but mainly due to the fact that I sat and watched the head of the most successful wrestling company of all time stoop to a brand new low. For the first time in my life, I watched Vincent K. McMahon, the man and not the character, look...pathetic...

Let's take a realistic look at what's going on here. Vinnie is giving away a million dollars "of his oooowwn money" in a bid to bring back fans to the WWE. New fans, jaded fans and TNA backsliders. Reading between the lines, he is effectively saying 'okay, so...I can't draw you people with wrestling any more, so i'll pimp myself, my dignity and my company out in a desperate bit to spike ratings. Take this money! YEAH! ....monaaaay...USA network don't like it when no-one watches us...did I mention the money?' I've never seen a more fundamentally flawed sports-entertainment idea before in my life. Of course, it's not the first time WWE has done this. My long-term memory has frozen images of an early 90's summerslam in which a young Michael Cole and ex-diva Sunny played with padlocks and keys with live callers...presumably for money. Thank goodness for The Attitude Era then, when the WWE didn't need a cheap telephone competition in order to captivate fans into comsuming its product. So what now, have we come full circle?

What's most frustrating about this is that it's a simple formula which Vince can't seem to understand. Perhaps its his stubborn attitude, perhaps it's the fact that he's somewhat out of touch with what works in wrestling today, most likely it's a mixture of both, but if he would stop putting over the great big beefcakes who cannot wrestle for their lives and give a fundamental, slow push to the athletes. The clean, non-ripped and gassed guys who can tell a thrilling story and take the belief of the audience from the lowest of lows to the dizzying heights. Guys who dwell on the undercard like CM Punk, Jimmy Yang (who was sadly suspended for his first violation of wellness this week), Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin, Vladimir Kozlov (I love this man), Y2J and Jeff Hardy. Vince needs to focus on the pure wrestling over the gimmick laden soap operas that Raw and Smackdown have become.

He needs to realise what has become stale and stop rehashing old storylines on a monthly basis. The fact that he was interrupting the immediate end of matches in a desperate bid to throw more money at potential viewers was sad indication of where he places the actual art of wrestling within a 'wrestling show'. If ROH were to produce an episode of Raw for one night, I believe we could see the difference and know what we're missing on a massive scale. Bryan Danielson v. Jeff Hardy in the main event? I'd pay...If Vince would put a little bit more effort into the show and get rid of tired old writers like the ever-bigoted Michael Hayes he would see the results that he desires in a long term capacity, as opposed to this quick-fix giveaway.



the american dragon...Wrestlemania headliner?

Perhaps the most stunning aspect of all of this is that WWE isn't even in dire-straits. It's making as much money as ever...but I think Vince knows that kids are fickle. They'll buy your John Cena shirts for a while, but deep down he knows that he needs to get back in touch with the hardcore wrestling fans. The ones who will follow regardless of age. I just fear that he has no idea how...

$ is certainly not how.